‘Kirk’s our dog. Kirk’s our freaking dog.’

You seem good at finding the flaws. I don’t think anyone has ever said he doesn’t have flaws.

In fact why don’t you name every QB that doesn’t have them so us informed peasants can revel in your superior intellect.

I mean you certainly have it all figured out at a level that the rest of us can only dream about.

And then while you are at it and talking about how he can’t win a SB why don’t you name all the QBs we have had who won them.

I mean I’m sure you ranted every single year the Vikings didn’t dump Tarkenton because he couldn’t win a SB

I’m ready to be humbled by your amazing mess and I’ll just hang up and wait to be impressed

Do you really need me to name all 34 Super Bowl winning QB's?

You know if you keep answering my messages for me mngopher35, people are going to start talking, and they already suspect I have 3-4 sock accounts, which Maestro would vehemently deny ... along with spence, oh ofc Raptorman. Did I miss any? I'm sure TAFKASP will let us know. BRB, currently having an argument with myself in another topic over how many boyfriends you should let your "girlfriend" have before it's even considered weird by modern day standards. Sorry Spence, I still think 1 is too many, even if his name is Kirk Cousins, but you might have found a few more allies here. I hear he gives a mean state sponsored speech in the bedroom too. A real panty dropper. Before he fumbles the condom and sticks it in the wrong hole.

Well I'd rather be doing something a little more challenging than pointing out empty trophy case preserving flaws, but the peasants of Kirkistan don't seem to rest, while providing ZERO evidence of his greatness outside of boxscores, so I feel like it's my duty. I'm trying to help you experience a championship, but I'm the bad guy? I get that there's a certain comfort and security in mediocrity, so if that's what you're into, who am I to judge? Risk can be scary, so lucky for you, these next 2 years will be nice and safe.

Do you really need me to name all 34 Super Bowl winning QB's?

Is it that obvious?

Oooooo you're dangerously close to the point there. Don't worry, you'll get there someday. Maybe by 2024? Hopefully? I know, some take longer than others. You'd think 7 years would be enough evidence for most, but if it takes 9, it takes 9. We'll wait for you big guy. Countdown clock is over there ---> in the sidebar. Think of it as the countdown clock to happiness.

Oh wow, you're just a glutton for punishment today aren't you? Francis Asbury Chokenton? How long do you got? What's your affinity for losers anyway? Do you just fall in love with anyone wearing a purple jersey?

Fun idea: you could start your own reality TV show called Jersey Whore. For each episode, your "thing" could be wearing a different jersey of some failed Vikings QB from the past, telling the audience what made them special in your mind, other than the ZERO combined Super Bowls they've won. You got plenty to choose from. I already can't wait for the Gary Cuozzo episode.

To be honest I used to think it was just a gift, but now I can't help but wonder why so many people seem to enjoy taking the losing side of an issue . Kirk Cousins? Seriously? That's the hill you're going to die on ? FWIW I already took the dub, but I'm not opposed to burying your corpse in a whole nother strata if you insist. Unlike the Vikings, we don't roll over in the Championship Mindset Club.

Tell your girlfriend to say hi to Kirk for me.

How are we going to be competitive while rebuilding with the best players from the old regime. Stuff like that.

Why hasn't anyone signed Tretter yet? We're not the only team that needs a better center.

OT rule?

Well grab the lube sunshine and buckle up. You don't know it yet, but I'm going to be your Championship Mindset spirit animal through this dumpster fire called the Minnesota Vikings. Have you met our lord and savior Kyle Slooter? Wait, you're not new to the Vikings are you? Because that would explain a lot.

So wait, the more they shove this turd sandwich down your throat, the more you enjoy it? People with a normal functioning pharyngeal reflex usually just gag, but I don't know what you peasants are used to eating over there in Kirkistan. Not gonna lie though, it smells like the 3rd world. And why would the QB class matter? You're not winning a Super Bowl either way, so why not use the millions you're not wasting on an overpaid QB to stock up on other positions while you search for a QB who isn't a complete waste of perfectly good carbon atoms?

The initial signing of Kirk was the only thing that made sense ... at the time. I was even in favor of it. Keenum had already lost his glass slipper by the end of November and wasn't going to repeat that magic carpet ride in 2018. Kirk was an obvious upgrade on paper, but we had no idea of knowing if he was just a monumental gravitational pull toward .500 or if Washington was just that dysfunctional. Now we have overwhelming evidence of the former, so it's beyond insane to keep doing the same thing over and over while hoping for different results. That's the thing about evidence, it's supposed to help you make better decisions. And people wonder why this useless franchise still has an empty trophy case? It keeps doubling down on it's failures. Teddy would still be our starter if his knee didn't buckle under the overwhelming weight of inferior QB ability it had to support all those years. In fact, I'm inspired by dauntessmallhands now. I should change my name to Teddysleftknee.

And why would anyone want Lamar Jackson unless they're satisfied with just being entertained in the regular season? He looks like another guy who can't handle any kind of pressure. Besides, he ended up in the right situation with the right coaches in Baltimore. A staff that actually knows how to develop someone with his skill set. The Zimmer regime didn't have the first clue on what to do with Lamar lol. They would have tried him at WR, or worse, tried to turn him into a pocket passer, like the Frazier regime tried to do with Joe Webb. Lamar would probably be out of the league by now had the Vikings drafted him.

Again, what more do you hope to see out of this guy that you haven't already seen? His problem isn't mechanics, talent, or scheme, it's mental, and you can't fix mental. Kevin isn't a witch doctor. I can see us winning 11 games with Cousins and making the playoffs, if they somehow manage to minimize as much pressure and chaos as possible for him, but you're not going to be able to do that for 4 consecutive games, on the road, against the best teams in the league in January, with Bradbury in front of him. So what's the point unless you're satisfied with yet another wildcard or divisional round exit? Which I'm not. Super Bowl or GTFO. I don't need to waste another minute on this guy.

For our long term success, 3-14 is in fact better than an 11-6 early playoff loss. 2024 could have been the start of our upward trajectory, but instead it's going to be the beginning of who knows what. Because we're not going to know what Kwesi and Kevin are actually capable of until then. If they fail with Ricks roster and Cousins, we learn nothing. The excuse is already there. So if these guys are actually bad at their jobs, it's going to take us 2 years longer to find out.

And what if we go 10-7 with early playoff losses these next 2 years? Then what? Do we quadruple down on another Cousins extension, paying him even more money? B-b-but we're almost there guys. Kill me now. There are only 2 options. We win a Super Bowl with Sean Mannion these next 2 years, or we crash and burn with Cousins. Anything in between would be an utter disaster, keeping us stuck in mediocrity hell for who knows how much longer. AKA the Wilves wet dream.

Danchat is that you? I think you buried the lede here. What fantasy sports game? Did I miss the memo? I don't play fantasy sports games, but I do enjoy simulators ... if they're on version 27 like they should be.