Post by Purple Pain on Jul 25, 2018 21:20:25 GMT -6
I could have put this in the Vikings Fans Need To Laugh To Survive! thread, but it kind of deserves its own thread.
Here it goes. This is the r/NFL ROAST OF THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS.
It's worth the glance, but I'll share some of the favorites:
Sorry James .
For Reignman :
Yikes to this next one...
Minnesota Vikings: building NFC East dynasties since 1989.
Check out the rest at the link above. 
Here it goes. This is the r/NFL ROAST OF THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS.
It's worth the glance, but I'll share some of the favorites:
Should’ve had the Packer’s roast first. So that when the jokes become old and washed up we can send them over to the Vikings roast.
Why was 2 afraid of 3?
Because 38-7.
Because 38-7.
Ah Roast Season, where the Vikings start the year with disappointment rather than end the year with it.
Vikings legend Adrian Peterson was a Madden cover athlete on XBox One and PS4, but greatly prefers to use the Switch with his kids.
Damn. Hopefully I miraculously pull a good joke out my a$$ in this thread before I completely bomb the next one.
I haven't seen a miracle go to waste like that since the time Jesus came back from the dead.
Apparently the Vikings' move to Alabama was blocked by the other team owners.
It doesn't matter though, they're still gonna f*ck Cousins over the next 3 years.
It doesn't matter though, they're still gonna f*ck Cousins over the next 3 years.
Sorry James .
Here's the snap, the kick is up, and it is ... no good! No good! Gary Anderson has missed a field goal for the first time in two years!
Dont worry Viking fans. I am sure there will another season where:
Rodgers goes down early in the season
The front runner for the MVP goes down and misses the playoffs
Sarkisian stalls the Atlanta offense
Drew Brees loses a playoff game on a miracle catch
Seattle can't figure out a running game
The Rams have a rookie head coach
Detriot misses the playoffs on a dumb play vs. Atlanta
The Cowboys lose their best player for 6 games
And most importantly you would have home field advantage in the Super Bowl.
Rodgers goes down early in the season
The front runner for the MVP goes down and misses the playoffs
Sarkisian stalls the Atlanta offense
Drew Brees loses a playoff game on a miracle catch
Seattle can't figure out a running game
The Rams have a rookie head coach
Detriot misses the playoffs on a dumb play vs. Atlanta
The Cowboys lose their best player for 6 games
And most importantly you would have home field advantage in the Super Bowl.
For Reignman :
What do WR Moritz Boehringer and the "Skol chant viking clap" have in common?
They were both significantly better in Europe.
They were both significantly better in Europe.
Vikings were mighty, feared warriors who conquered through rape and pillage. Vikings fans are fat a$$holes who sit around eating sausage and cheese from Wisconsin, drink beer from Wisconsin, and gather together to formerly watch a fat a$$hole ride out onto the field on a motorcycle made in Wisconsin. If you guys were anymore on the Packers dick I’d swear you guys were cousins.
Speaking of Cousins what in the world are you guys doing giving a massive guaranteed contract to a do-nothing quarterback when for 25 years the only thing your team has needed is a kicker that can make a kick when it counts.
You guys had a great season last year but your fancy glass walled stadium has a better record against birds than your football team. It was a good move building it on Chicago Avenue though at least this way you get a whiff of what it’s like to win a Super Bowl.
Your sex boat scandal was the most interesting thing to happen to your team probably ever and I still think it was just overcompensation for the fact that the Land of 10,000 lakes couldn’t hold onto an NHL franchise.
Oh, and one more thing:
Speaking of Cousins what in the world are you guys doing giving a massive guaranteed contract to a do-nothing quarterback when for 25 years the only thing your team has needed is a kicker that can make a kick when it counts.
You guys had a great season last year but your fancy glass walled stadium has a better record against birds than your football team. It was a good move building it on Chicago Avenue though at least this way you get a whiff of what it’s like to win a Super Bowl.
Your sex boat scandal was the most interesting thing to happen to your team probably ever and I still think it was just overcompensation for the fact that the Land of 10,000 lakes couldn’t hold onto an NHL franchise.
Oh, and one more thing:
Calling yourselves the Vikings is like a pro sports team calling themselves ISIS in 700 years.
I can't really hate the Vikings too much; the first round pick you guys gave us for Bradford helped us build the team that won the Superbowl you hosted. I look forward to seeing what else you guys do for us in the future.
Minnesota Vikings: building NFC East dynasties since 1989.
Check out the rest at the link above. 
... and neither is this Chris guy.